Studies show that one of the biggest predictors of self esteem in adolescents
is the quality of their relationship with their mother and father regarding
intimacy and nurturance by the parents. Self esteem is negatively related to
parental punitiveness. Raising a challenging child can make it difficult to have
the quality relationship you desire. Both positive and negative consequences do
change behavior if they are applied correctly. The goal should be to teach not
to punish. If you have ever done a behavior modification plan, you may have felt
like you are simply bribing your child.
Most of us agree that children should behave because it is the "right" thing
to do. Unfortunately, some children have gotten attention for doing the wrong
things and they get stuck in this pattern of behavior. After all, bad attention
is better than no attention. To unstick them, we try behavior modification. This
is usually a sticker chart, points, reward bucks etc. The trick becomes, how do
I reward my child without buying something every time they behave? Here are some
ideas that help you mix things up, don't set the child up in a monetary reward
expectation, and don't hurt your bank account.
Family Rewards
* Cook with mom or Dad
* Choose the dinner menu
* Special TV show
* Later bedtime
* Play a card game with someone
* Brag call to grandparent
* Play catch
* Walk with parent
* Read a story together
* Write a story together
* Praise note on bed/ in lunchbox
* Trip to the park
* Blue ribbon
* Choose music in the car
* Excused from a chore
* Crown at dinner
* Candle in a cupcake
* Do an art project or color together
* Special snack
* Extra play time
Let your child come up with some ideas as well. Have fun with it and be
creative. You can always slip in some small things like stickers, hot wheels,
erasers, hair clips etc. Younger children and impulsive children need frequent
rewards so don't over extend yourself time wise or financially. Save the big
rewards for something special. As you see a turn around in negative behavior,
you can begin gradually backing off on the rewards. With any behavior program,
remember- not giving up is the key. Any behavior program should be in place for
at least three weeks before you evaluate the success or failure. The child will
test your commitment and consistency.
is the quality of their relationship with their mother and father regarding
intimacy and nurturance by the parents. Self esteem is negatively related to
parental punitiveness. Raising a challenging child can make it difficult to have
the quality relationship you desire. Both positive and negative consequences do
change behavior if they are applied correctly. The goal should be to teach not
to punish. If you have ever done a behavior modification plan, you may have felt
like you are simply bribing your child.
Most of us agree that children should behave because it is the "right" thing
to do. Unfortunately, some children have gotten attention for doing the wrong
things and they get stuck in this pattern of behavior. After all, bad attention
is better than no attention. To unstick them, we try behavior modification. This
is usually a sticker chart, points, reward bucks etc. The trick becomes, how do
I reward my child without buying something every time they behave? Here are some
ideas that help you mix things up, don't set the child up in a monetary reward
expectation, and don't hurt your bank account.
Family Rewards
* Cook with mom or Dad
* Choose the dinner menu
* Special TV show
* Later bedtime
* Play a card game with someone
* Brag call to grandparent
* Play catch
* Walk with parent
* Read a story together
* Write a story together
* Praise note on bed/ in lunchbox
* Trip to the park
* Blue ribbon
* Choose music in the car
* Excused from a chore
* Crown at dinner
* Candle in a cupcake
* Do an art project or color together
* Special snack
* Extra play time
Let your child come up with some ideas as well. Have fun with it and be
creative. You can always slip in some small things like stickers, hot wheels,
erasers, hair clips etc. Younger children and impulsive children need frequent
rewards so don't over extend yourself time wise or financially. Save the big
rewards for something special. As you see a turn around in negative behavior,
you can begin gradually backing off on the rewards. With any behavior program,
remember- not giving up is the key. Any behavior program should be in place for
at least three weeks before you evaluate the success or failure. The child will
test your commitment and consistency.
RSS Feed